Accidental Community

People who know me well know that I prefer one-on-one interactions rather than large gatherings. Part of it is that I like to truly focus on the person I'm with, and have a hard time splitting that focus across multiple people simultaneously. The other part is that I often feel very alone in crowds. The natural ebb and flow of people in large groups at one time or another leaves one stranded (as I see it) and needing to blend or flow into another part of the whole. That transition time causes me high anxiety, and I avoid it at all costs.

All that being said, there are very few communities I feel a part of. One community, though, I really just fell into, and each time I experience it, I get a little thrill. This community is made up of MINI Cooper owners/drivers.


There's an unspoken pact between MINI drivers to wave, nod, or otherwise acknowledge other MINI drivers when passing each other. I remember driving off the lot the day I bought my car, and encountering another MINI almost immediately, as I wound my way out of Boston, into Cambridge and back onto the highway. The driver gave me a wave, and I kind of did a double take -- were they really waving at me? -- and then waved back, grinning like a fool the whole time. Over the next few days, this experience was repeated over and over again.

I didn't know these people, but for a brief moment, we were connected. We were alike. We were different than the drivers around us, who were insulated in their steel bubbles and peering aggressively out through their windshields.

The high from acknowledging another MINI driver and being acknowledged is fleeting, but I relish it. By contrast, I feel equally distressed when my wave is not returned, though the negative feeling is short-lived. Mostly, though, it's fun anticipating the right time to wave or nod to ensure your gesture is reciprocated without causing an accident.

I didn't actively opt into this community -- but on days when I'm feeling like I just can't bear one more mile of a 75 minute commute, my mind is chewing on a particular challenge, or I dread coming home to an empty apartment, I'm glad that there are people out there who recognize and acknowledge me, if only in passing.

Poem: February

The sky today has been the same
Perpetual shade of steely grey,
Irrespective of the hour.

Icy sharp drops of rain
Leave pockmarks in the greying,
Withering banks of snow.

Woodstove smoke hangs heavy
In the chill air and more aptly
Praises winter than heralds coming Spring.

I sit, a chrysalis in grey cocooned,
Motionless yet for shallow breath
Poised to burst forth with vibrant color
When the sun's first rays do warm
And Spring at last arrives.

--ACP Feb. 22, 2009

Listen: The Weepies

World Spins Madly On

It'll be three minutes well spent...

A Twist on Word Art: Wordle

As I've written before, TechCrunch is one of those sites I rely on to discover new things, technology-related or otherwise. Recently, one of their posts didn't disappoint.

They'd taken the Terms of Service from a number of popular sites (Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and more), and run them through an online word cloud generator, Wordle.

The results weren't only technically interesting, they were beautiful, like art work. So I ran my blog through it (several times!) and here are a couple examples.

A friend with whom I shared this first one noted it looks like a fingerprint. Apropos, given the nature of my posts.

The one to the left made think of a movie poster for an indie film or something similar.

I was also intrigued by how the words' position and proximity to one another in each version creates a unique experience of the individual words and themes. Sets a different tone or draws focus to different words or groups of words.

If nothing else, it's an interesting way to distill down some content into its most basic elements, and highlight the most popular words and themes. My fellow writers/bloggers, what do your Wordles look like?

Pivot Questionnaire

One of my secret pleasures is watching "Inside the Actors Studio". Whenever it's on, whoever is the guest, I'll pause my channel surfing to catch at least a segment or two. While the main interviews are well-crafted and insightful, the part I truly love is the last set of 10 questions before James Lipton turns the actor over to the crowd for questions. (As a side note, Will Ferrell's parody of James Liption on SNL is brilliant, in my opinion).

The questions are based on the Pivot Questionnaire, popularized by Bernard Pivot, a French journalist, interviewer, and TV host. There are actually several versions of the list (the Proust versions I have just now discovered, and frankly, think they're much more intriguing).

Each time I watch that part of the show, it makes me wonder how I'd answer the questions. Well, here goes:

1. What is your favorite word? Mellifluous. It begs to be said slowly and deliberately.
   
2. What is your least favorite word? Moist. Ewwww, gives me the shivers even thinking of it.
   
3. What turns you on? Sincerity and authenticity.
   
4. What turns you off? Jockeying. For power or position, for love or attention, for money or fame, for really anything.
   
5. What is your favorite curse word? F**k. I love the look of shock and awe on people's faces the first time they hear me say it. That's priceless.
   
6. What sound or noise do you love? A sincere and joy-filled laugh.
   
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Honking car horns. Especially at a red light.
   
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Veterinarian or zoologist
   
9. What profession would you not like to do? Tele-salesperson
   
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "The shock will wear off soon enough. Come sit down. "
    

Would You Like to Super-size That?

Sandy (L), Jake (R), and their new "super-sized" friend from the Derry, NH, Dog Park.

Poem: Seeds

Wildflow'r, Alyssum, sweet white Daisy
Annual, perennial, whatever their season:
Tiny packets of possibility.

Holiday Socks

It's Valentines day. I'm not celebrating this year. Though I haven't typically marked the day with much pomp and circumstance in years past anyway, this year is notably different.

This morning, I still put on my Valentine's day socks. They're the only holiday socks I have, a gift from my mother from a few years ago. I look at putting them on as an attempt to remain positive. Perhaps as a gesture of hope.

Poem: Thumbprints

We are at once the sculptor
and the clay
molding
and being molded
at each interaction,
each caress
leaving unerasable
thumbprints.

--ACP Feb. 13, 2009

Poem: Intertwined

I do not remember the first time we met
Only that you began to materialize
At the periphery of my existence
And now, whether you intended to or not,
You are woven into the mesh of
Who I've been
Who I am
And who I will become.

-ACP Feb. 10, 2009

Daydreaming

I sincerely believe my dog, Jake, has a rich inner life that I will never be privy to.

I have days like this too...

...except without the anesthesia.

25 Random Things

There's a fad of sorts spreading through my Facebook network. It's the 25 Random Things post, where you list 25 things about yourself, and then tag 25 people who do the same and tag more people and so on.

In reading some of the lists, I was honestly shocked by some of the things people posted, especially since the venue is quite public. I'll get into my thoughts on that -- and why I won't put my list in Facebook -- in a separate post, I think. Nonetheless, I'm not immune to being sucked into the phenomenon, and drafted my own list. Here goes...

1. I hate raking the leaves.
2. I detest clutter.
   
3. I appreciate others' ability to grow and nurture plants, even as I struggle to keep my own alive.
   
4. I love contagious enthusiasm.
   
5. I love that moment camping when I finally let go of all the trappings and pace of my daily life and just succumb to being.
   
6. I relish hugs, especially those that are engulfing.
   
7. I do not ask to be held frequently enough.
8. I laugh every time I find my dog, Jake, buried in my bed pillows.
9. I get nervous making phone calls even to people I know.
10. I have a hard time asking for help.
    
11. I hate saying goodbye.
    
12. I don't go to funerals.
    
13. I plan to explore the world before I die.
    
14. I believe in fairness.
    
15. My favorite books are ones that consume me -- and I will read at the expense of eating, sleeping, and interacting with others.
    
16. I'm loathe not to finish a book even if it's awful. It may just take me a very long time to get through it.
    
17. It can take me awhile to warm up to an idea, but as soon as I'm on board, I will be the biggest advocate for it.
    
18. I aspire to be the best at what I do, but recognize I can't do everything perfectly.
    
19. I still cry when I think of my dog, Chewy, and the weekend he died.
20. I'm secretly a big geek -- I love technology, gadgets, science fiction and the like.
    
21. I love to cook with and for people, but will not do so for myself alone.
    
22. I am afraid of being alone when I'm old.
    
23. I would rather be at a baseball game than watch one on TV anyday.
    
24. I forget things. Big things, little things.
25. I thrive on knowing.
    

...That actually took longer to do than I expected. And I definitely self-censored. But I think it was definitely a worthwhile exercise. Just not sure I'm ready or interested in sharing it with "Friends".