Accidental Community

People who know me well know that I prefer one-on-one interactions rather than large gatherings. Part of it is that I like to truly focus on the person I'm with, and have a hard time splitting that focus across multiple people simultaneously. The other part is that I often feel very alone in crowds. The natural ebb and flow of people in large groups at one time or another leaves one stranded (as I see it) and needing to blend or flow into another part of the whole. That transition time causes me high anxiety, and I avoid it at all costs.

All that being said, there are very few communities I feel a part of. One community, though, I really just fell into, and each time I experience it, I get a little thrill. This community is made up of MINI Cooper owners/drivers.


There's an unspoken pact between MINI drivers to wave, nod, or otherwise acknowledge other MINI drivers when passing each other. I remember driving off the lot the day I bought my car, and encountering another MINI almost immediately, as I wound my way out of Boston, into Cambridge and back onto the highway. The driver gave me a wave, and I kind of did a double take -- were they really waving at me? -- and then waved back, grinning like a fool the whole time. Over the next few days, this experience was repeated over and over again.

I didn't know these people, but for a brief moment, we were connected. We were alike. We were different than the drivers around us, who were insulated in their steel bubbles and peering aggressively out through their windshields.

The high from acknowledging another MINI driver and being acknowledged is fleeting, but I relish it. By contrast, I feel equally distressed when my wave is not returned, though the negative feeling is short-lived. Mostly, though, it's fun anticipating the right time to wave or nod to ensure your gesture is reciprocated without causing an accident.

I didn't actively opt into this community -- but on days when I'm feeling like I just can't bear one more mile of a 75 minute commute, my mind is chewing on a particular challenge, or I dread coming home to an empty apartment, I'm glad that there are people out there who recognize and acknowledge me, if only in passing.